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No mother or parent will wanna celebrate a child’s birthday at a gravesite. Guess what? That’s exactly what I did on August 19th 2018..its an important date for me, Cynthia and Darwin were born August 19th, ironically they are 10yrs apart. I remember when they were young the health insurance company would call to confirm just to be sure the dates are correct.That was funny.
Beautiful Sunday
It was a beautiful Sunday morning….all night prior to visiting my daughter, I was very anxious. I couldn’t wait for the sun to rise. Excitement grew as we drove closer to the George Washington cemetery in Silver Spring, Maryland. Entering the gate into the cemetery, subconsciously I could hear my daughter’s voice saying to me …”Mummy I am happy you came! welcome lets celebrate this day together”. I immediately felt a peace of mind knowing that she wasn’t alone on her birthday. It’s always a very difficult visit, I would be lying to myself if I didn’t mention all the tears, hurting and the pain. When I get out of the car the emotions rush through me. Then the worst is when I am leaving the cemetery, feeling as if I am abandoning my child.
What are some of the Feelings?
Visiting the gravesite can be a sorrowful time, a sad time, painful and at times it can be a joyful period knowing you are standing or sitting at the resting place of your loved ones. Your anxiety level increases, emotionally your mental reaction is either fear or anger. Sense of loneliness flows through me. You become numb, but guess what? I still and will always cherish every visit no matter how tough it is. We all spend our lives trying to avoid this place but death is inevitable.
Why the visit? Others may ask?
- Pay your respects and to remember your loved ones
- To have a tremendous sense of inner peace
- Some people might be looking for closure during the visit
- Reflecting on the beautiful life
- Time to rearrange the flowers
- A time also to reflect on your own mortality
- To celebrate, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays
- Lone time to reflect on how your life has changed ever since they departed
- It’s a time of healing, meditation
- Story telling time if you are with families or friends
- Might be a time to reminisce and connect with the past
- A time to have a silent communications
- It might be to release stress and a plan for the future
- Making sure its clean, cemeteries cut the grass and trim the area around the gravestone, it your responsibility to keep the monument looking beautiful
- Check on the condition of the headstone, if it requires any maintenance
- Decorate the tombstone with memorabilia or art
What I (we) did
- Clean the headstone and beautify the plot
- Laid a bouquet of artificial silk flowers into the vest holder
- Placed the birthday balloons
- Rearranged the old flowers
- Removed and replace the old ribbons and dirts around granite monument
- Took photos and made a short video which was share to family members and friends
- Stroll to check other tombstones around Cynthia’s, resting place
- Admired different inscriptions, cultural display, personalized designs and engravings from other families
- I make it a habit to say “Hello” to those around Cynthia’s gravesite
Conclusion
My conclusion during and after leaving the cemetery is that, each one lying there represents a life, new borns, marriages, divorces, students, successes, failure, financial struggles, graduates, musicians, doctors, preachers, teachers, business men and women, I mean people of all backgrounds.
We all have different forms of beliefs, I personally give thanks to GOD every second for the wonderful and beautiful life I shared with my Cynthia.
At the end of my visit, I was in a state of euphoria all day Sunday and even extended throughout the week. My mindset was content with a sense of happiness and well-being for accomplishing my visit. I try as much as possible to be optimistic for a positive and hopeful time ahead, by encouraging myself to look forward to a brighter future with a belief that spending time at her gravesite with joy, love, relief, satisfaction, gratitude and hope.
Welcome to my new Life. A Life Changing Moment!
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